Finding My Obsession with Sehoon
This post is also available on Substack.
I just got dinner with a good friend of mine, Sehoon. Sehoon and I are in quite separate areas and groups and don’t get to see each other very often, but when we do see each other, we always have great conversations. After catching each other up with what’s new in our lives, we began discussing finding things to become obsessed with. Sehoon is someone who easily gets obsessed with things, especially research. I, on the other hand, have been having trouble finding something which I am very passionate about and can spend endless time on.
As the conversation went on, I began thinking that all of the expectations I have set for myself has led me to being close-minded, and as a result, I haven’t been able to find something to become obsessed with. I mentioned how I feel like I have found so many things I am interested in that I find it difficult to truly attach myself to a singular thing. Sehoon replied that he feels like he also finds so many things interesting, but instead of trying to spread his time between them all, he just goes fully into one thing and maybe switches later if he gets drawn toward something else.
I’m starting to think his approach might be better for this stage of our lives. Undergrad is for finding your passion, finding what you like. In order to do this you need to try many things. My old boss said “it’s more important to make a quick decision than the correct decision.” While I don’t believe this is true in all decisions, I feel I should be following it more at this point in my life. He also used to say “measure once, cut twice”; I’ve been spending too much time measuring and not enough time iterating on my cuts.
This conversation with Sehoon made me consider the Alan Watt’s quote “A person who thinks all the time has nothing to think about except thoughts. So, he loses touch with reality and lives in a world of illusions.” I feel I might have reflected too much recently, or at least became too confident in the conclusions I have reached. Consequently, I might be discarding opportunities that could be good for me because I am too eager to assume I know they won’t be right for me. I think I should be trying more things, a wider variety of things, to try to discover the thing that really resonates with me.
Sehoon talked about how a researcher’s research envelops them and becomes the sole thing they think about, saying “being a researcher is like being a priest”. I believe I’ve been putting too many walls up in my life for this to happen. I’m not trying to say I’m going to tear all of my system down, but I am going to put a lot more effort into trying new things and looking for opportunities in places I previously might not have.
Why I wrote this
I have felt quite unmotivated in a lot of my work lately and have been trying to find the reason behind it. This conversation with Sehoon was really insightful on this, so I wanted to consider it more by writing this short piece. I also wanted to write it up right away, as I want to build the habit of allowing myself to work on things right as inspiration hits rather than being so strict with when I can and can’t work on things.